"There are days that feel long, but only for nebulous reasons.
Everything is a task, and even the completion of one thing is only the
beginning of something else that must be endured rather than enjoyed.
My malaise has internal features and particular behaviors. I am aware, for example, that time is being squandered and yet it paradoxically hurtles along; there is too much of it, and not enough of it. I have neither the patience to think nor the energy to do. I am consumed by utilitarian but empty busyness. I call up big companies over small discrepancies on bills. I agree to take online surveys or look up airfares or exchange rates for no immediate reason; play games of TextTwist or electronic Solitaire, noting my speed and scores. I eat, and the first bite has some flavor and the rest of the thing is somehow consumed and I can't even remember having chewed, and soon enough have only a vague memory of having eaten at all.
At night, I channel- and Internet surf, which leads to another notable feature. All things merit my attention, and nothing holds it. The end of the day is characterized by a kind of gossamer of regret: nothing too intense, only a resolution to do better tomorrow.
This self-indulgence comes and goes. Lately, I have become more attuned to my tendencies and see how work can sling me between boredom and anxiety, between not wanting to do something at all and feeling pressure to do it to perfection.
Engaged, disengaged, and "other"
Evidently such doldrums are commonplace. According to an article in the Gallup Management Journal, 59 percent of employees are "disengaged" and another 14 percent are "actively disengaged."
"There is probably a continuum from the mildly bored to people who have resigned themselves to their situation and checked out," says Dennis Reina, co-author, along with Michelle Reina, of Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace. "We're all in a constant process of reinventing ourselves. Are we growing, going to our next developmental level? We can start out in a situation and become skilled and do it in our sleep. But unless we're learning, growing, taking some risks, even making mistakes, and getting ourselves to the next level developmentally--whether it's a job or a relationship--we have to be growing or we're dying. Otherwise, it's just a slow death, death by a thousand paper cuts."
If you would like to continue reading go here. Yes, you know you can't resist the temptation. Hey, don't feel bad - I am the one who found it in the spam file...not you.
I stumbled upon this fanzine while searching the endless inbound spam that we receive on a daily, if not hourly basis in my office. No, let me re-phrase that, as it is incoming on an almost minute by minute account. I work in a small office and I took the initiative and decided to start checking the inbound spam rather than pay our out-of-office IT person a ridiculous amount of money to do so. Yes, it is very noble of me as it is a tedious task but don't engrave my name in the Nobel Peace Prize award just yet. I also chose to do it so that I can procrastinate without appearing too obvious about it. Yes, the correct spelling is F.A.I.T.H. - thanks for asking.
Oh, yeh, back to the fanzine. I WAS NOT snooping. I couldn't help reading the email and with the title 'Jugglezine' wouldn't you be curious? After reading the beginning of this article you must admit that your couldn't have stopped yourself from reading more. So I did. I knew I was going to read even more than that so I just went ahead and transferred a copy to my inbox just to make it easier. That is until I
make find some time to subscribe the Jugglezine so I don't have to search for it like a bottom-feeder squirming along the bottom of the ocean.
So anyway I thought this article was great, and so spot on. Of course, in saying that I am also admitting that I myself am dying a slow, painful death...slow and painful.