Quoth the Raven

well read ~ 2011

While perusing the blog of Amy Jane of Untangling Tales, I came across the idea of documenting (and hopefully reading) a list of books for the year 2009. This seems like commen sense for those of us who enjoy a good read, and enjoy making endless lists. However, maybe you are just like me and barely get the time to even contemplate sitting down to get through one good book, or the piles of books you need to read, let alone the others you have lining your Amazon wishlist.

Well, since this is now 2011, I thought I would get the ball rolling, again, and set some good booking reading goals in place while the year is still young.

My hope is that this list will help to keep me on the straight and narrow, well on my way of having the satisfaction of consuming all those pages and pages of words. Obviously, with my new found career move into the realm of dog training, you can expect to see many must-read books devoted to the topic of dogs, among other things. While this list will not be like those lists that have all the literary works that one MUST read in a lifetime, it will have books that I must read, want to read, or just feel inspired to read again. So here goes...

• Not Buying It - Judith Levine. Maybe not a literary work but I had hoped to read this prior to the New Year and get into the philosophy of 'not buying it' come 2011. Unfortunately, I never finished the book, and didn't quite make it through the first 3 days of 2011 before I had the credit card out and was filling my online shopping cart. But I did enjoy reading about Judith's life and transition to non-spending and am determined to finish it this year.
• Good Dog 101 - Cristine Dahl 
• If on a Winter's Night a Traveller - Italo Calvino 
• How to Run a Dog Business - Veronica Boutelle
• Help for Your Fearful Dog - Nicole Wilde
• What to Expect When You're Expecting - Heidi Murkoff
• On Talking Terms with Dogs - Turid Rugaas
• Walden - Henry David Thoreau 
• Barking - Turid Rugaas
• Getting a Grip on Aggression Cases - Nicole Wilde
• No One Can Hurt Him Anymore - Carol Rothgeb & Scott Cupp
• I'll Be Home Soon - Patricia McConnell
• One on One - Nicole Wilde
• Aggression in Dogs - Brenda Aloff
• Outwitting Dogs - Terry Ryan
• GoodDog 101 - Cristine Dahl
• Oh Behave! Dogs from Pavlov to Premak to Pinker - Jean Donaldson
• Control Unleashed - Leslie McDevitt
• When Pigs Fly - Jane Killion
• Click for Calm - Emma Parsons 
• Stress in Dogs - Martina Scholz & Clarissa von Reinhardt
• The Pitbull Placebo - Karen Delise
• Fatal Dog Attacks - Karen Delise 
• Culture Clash - Jean Donaldson
• Coaching People to Train Their Dogs - Terry Ryan
• The Plague - Albert Camus
• The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck 
• The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
• A Room of One's Own - Virginia Woolf
• Dogs - Ray & Lorna Coppinger 
• From Dead to Worse - Charlaine Harris
• Dead and Gone - Charlaine Harris
• Learning and Behavior - Paul Chance

Don't despair as more books will be added very soon, but while I am on a roll, I may as well include my 'need to watch' DVD list...

• Fighting Dominance in a Dog Whispering World - Jean Donaldson/Ian Dunbar (4 hrs)
• Lassie Come - Patricia McConnell
• Feeling Outnumbered - Patricia McConnell
• Predation in Family Dogs: Predation, Predatory Drift and Preparedness seminar - Jean Donaldson
• Aggression in Dogs - Brenda Aloff (6 hrs)
• Cujo Meets Pavlov - Kathy Sdao
• Learning Theory 101 - Kathy Sdao
• Working with Fearful Dogs - Nicole Wilde
• Obedience Without Conflict: Clear Communication - Ivan Balabanov
• Obedience Without Conflict: The Game - Ivan Balabanov
• Bite 'o' Meter - Sue Sternberg
• Possession Aggression - Sue Sternberg
• Fighting Dogs; Family and Strangers - Pia Silvani
• Constructional Aggression Treatment - Jesus Rosales-Ruiz
• Family Dog One Instructor's Course 
• Different Breeds have Different Needs - Trish King (6hrs)
• Different Faces of Aggression - Trish King
• Abandonment Training - Trish King (3hr)
• Control Unleashed - Leslie McDevitt
• Calming Signals - Turid Rugaas
• The Fundamentals of Animal Training - Bob Bailey 
• Of Wolves and Dogs - Professor Ray Coppinger (9hrs) 
• Emotions, Intelligence & the Behavior of Dogs - Professor Ray Coppinger (9 hrs)

 

the winter of my discontent

It has been many months since I have returned to my faithful blog. Upon reading my last post, one could easily surmise that I had shut myself away in order to deal with the grief associated with the loss of my father, but I did not. I know enough about grief to know that people will deal with it in many different ways. Some people may in fact choose to hide from the world and collect their thoughts and this is definitely fine. I, however, literally returned to Seattle and threw myself into a endless stream of projects. I may have done this in order not to think about the void I would inevitably feel in coming to terms with losing such a wonderful man,  though I think I was more inspired by my father's death to actually get out and embrace life and all this world has to offer.

Did I do this to prove to myself and my father my own self worth? Or, am I just wanting to make my father proud whether he is around to stand with me in my successes; no matter how large or small these may be. Or, maybe I  just came to the realization that life is short and I feel the urge - the pull - to want to accomplish as much as I can in the short time I am here. To be perfectly honest, I do feel that I am always running against the clock, not the literal clock, though I do feel that to, but strangely enough I feel that I do not have much time and I am always rushing against the invisible hands of time ticking, ticking, ticking. 

I cannot help but think of the words of Henry David Thoreau when he said, " I went into the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."

So yes, I have been living life to the fullest...and it sure is exhausting.

Image provided by the Library of Congress, 1908, Detroit Publishing Co.

The Book Thief

I still recall, albeit in vivid detail, the day I stumbled upon The Book Thief. It was a sun filled day in June, the exact date was the 12th of June 2008, just one day after my father's funeral.

When I jumped in the driver's seat of my rental car on that bright, but sorrow filled morning, I had no idea where I was going, how long I would be there, or that I would find myself perusing aisle upon aisle of a book shop looking for a special kind of book; a book that would transport my soul far, far away from the place that I currently found myself. In hindsight, there was no other book that I could have reached for on that day. Really, no other book could compare. No other book could hold within its pages the power to make me feel someone else's pain so profoundly. To be able to experience, again, the anguish that is only experienced when a loss is so great, so all encompassing. I would later learn that The Book Thief not only stole that which belonged to someone else, but that this particular thief could also give back by bringing solace to those who are suffering, as I suffered and to a far greater extent the anguish that Liesel Meminger surely suffered as the main character in The Book Thief. To compare our lives would appear to trivialize a time in history that I pray will never be repeated, a time that Liesel managed to live through, while someone more frail may have taken their own life.

But I did not know any of this on that particular day, what I did know is that I wanted only to escape, to get in my car and just keep driving. That if I drove far enough and for long enough, that the pain would be blown from my soul, much like the loose strands of hair reaching across my face as the wind forced itself through my car window. Not unlike the frail, but persistent hands of one determined to play a game of tug-o-war, in spite of my refusal to play.

I drove and I drove. I would keep on driving until I reached the ocean, the only place that could give me any hope of solace from the turmoil. I found I had reached Torquay and even then I continued to drive until I came to the edge of the ocean and it was there that I found the strength to walk. I continued to walk until I had covered miles and miles of sandy beach, and with each step many tiny grains of sand would walk with me as they found a new crevice to fill within my sneakers. I walked until I could walk no further and then I sank to the ground and let the tears fall.

If this were a Hollywood movie this is where the scene would end, most likely with the closing lines 'The End' moving from left to right across the blackened screen. However, life does not allow us such finality, not for those of us who are left behind to mourn. In time I found the strength to evenually leave behind the comfort of the beach only to find myself wandering around the local shops, none of which held my interest. Nothing did, until I stumbled upon the book shop. To be perfectly honest, I find the task of physically walking around a book store to be quite taxing and can only surmise that it was fate that enabled me to do so on this, of all days. I decided that I was searching for a book, however, the title and the author were elusive to be until I found it and after searching for what seemed like hours, without success, I turned and there on the shelf sat The Book Thief, seemingly challenging me to purchase it - and I did. 

Now I must add that although I have an image of the American printing, it was the cover on the Australian printing that aroused my interest. It was the more haunting image with the snow covered scene and the cloaked individual that enticed me to purchase this book. I feel that the Australian cover is a more accurate depiction of the plot within its pages. It was this image that caused me to come face to face with the unfortunate character of Death that is deeply ingrained through out this book; a character I am all too familiar with.

Although I initially began to read The Book Thief in June, the timing was not right and it would be the beginning of October before I found myself reaching for it, wiping the dust from the cover and finding myself in a place where I was able to be engulfed in the lives of Liesel, Hans, Max and the other special characters that lined Himmel Street, and the pages of The Book Thief.

'I am haunted by humans' - The Book Thief

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R.I.P Zeke 05.24.08

Long weekends are often a cause for celebration, with frivolous activities or even no activity at all, if that is what one so chooses to do, or not do. Well, on Saturday morning, I took Zeke (our ferret) to the vet. I wish I could say this was for a random check-up but it wasn't. Within the last two weeks he had lost all the hair on his stomach and was losing patches on his back. Having owned seven ferrets over the years, it is easy to recognize the signs associated with adrenal gland disease when one has lost three to it in the last 3yrs. Hair loss on the end of the tail is often the first indicator of the early stages of adrenal gland disease, with changes in personality being another often triggered by the growth causing hormone imbalances.

Our wonderful vet, Dr Shini, was disturbed to find the extent of Zeke's hair loss and we both knew this disease had progressed much more quickly than for any of our other ferrets. His skin was red in patches due the the itchiness also associated with the hair loss. Due to the homrone imbalance, Zeke had begun to act aggressively towards our other ferret babies; Zoe, Zahn & Zed.

Dr Shini tried to give me some hope for his future, but I knew it was futile. Our last cancer victim (Ziggy) actually did really well on monthly luprone injections for 3 yrs, but I didn't hold the same hopeful outcome for my Zeka-Bleaker (the nickname I gave him). I did not want to let my little guy go, but I also did not want to let him suffer, so I took the humane way out and said my farewells to my dear little guy. We will miss you Zeke, my little escape artist.

Happy New Year

Here we are.

A new year, another year.

But will it be like the one just passed. Or, will it be like the one never yet experienced. Will this be a year where new hope for the future is rekindled or will it hold the constant yearning for something that always remains just out of my reach. 

I do not know the answers to these questions, and the many more questions that I have yet to speak, but I do know that I crave for a year where dreams are fulfilled. A year full of new adventures, some far from home and many more in my own  backyard. This year I want my life to be one where new friendships are made, and old friendships are rekindled.

I want a life - a year - that is full of passion for life and for love. One that even during the busyness of life, I may still find time for solitude. Where I can see the small beautifies in my life, in my world, that are all too often let unfounded due to the hectic schedule I confess to keeping.

Too often my new year resolutions linger around fitness and health, and that is all well and good, but I want more than those things, much more. I want to strive for greatness in the things in my life that bring me joy; creating new things whether my medium be through the painter's brush, or the potter's wheel. I want to live.

I wish everyone who visits this page a very, very Happy New Year in 2008.

   

Shoes. Glorious Shoes

If you know me at all, then you know that I have a fetish for shoes. I love them! All shades of color, different textures, heels or no heels. It really doesn't matter. Well, actually at only 5'3" I definitely want, and need heels!

So imagine this, it is Tuesday and I am finally thinking about my outfit for the upcoming Google christmas party on Friday. This is easy as I have loads of clothes, but what about the shoes. For all my love of shoes, I must admit that I do not own a decent pair of black evening shoes. Can you believe it? Actually, I am lying as I did buy a cute pair of Ann Klein stilettos  with a sexy 3" inch heel many months ago. They would be perfect, except that they had an unfortunate encounter with my Zoe, while she was still going through the puppy chewing stage. Yes, my bad, but they were horrendously uncomfortable, so much so that a couple of my toes were numb for a whole day after wearing them. In hindsight, Zoe was definitely doing me in devouring them.

After deciding that I really needed to buy a pair of shoes, and admitting to the fact that I have little time to venture out to the shopping malls, I decided to hit the online shops. Now where else could I find an appropriate pair of shoes (for any occasion) but through Zappos.com. Well, it took me all but 5 minutes to find these gorgeous black satin shoes and for a mere $124 with free overnight shipping, I didn't have to break the bank. Of course, my main concern was the 4" heel and whether the shoes themselves would be comfortable enough to endure the festivities associated with a Google party. I decided to be adventurous and just order them, and by noon the following day I had these gems in my sweaty little palms. As I sat at my desk to try on my shoes, I very much felt like a modern day Cinderella who had just found the perfect pair of shoes. So perfect, in fact, that it is almost impossible to detect that I am balancing on a 4" heel, but we'll see how well I manage after a few cosmopolitans?

Mac & Cheese, please...

Better yet, just skip the cheese and give me the Mac, as in IMac. Today I joined the ranks of Mac users around the world and I must admit that after only 5 hours, I am on my way to becoming a Mac junkie!

You know, I am a lover of gadgets as much as the next person, but technology has never been something that I would classify as sexy, but Mac have managed to make a user friendly laptop that not only functions better than any PC I have ever used, but has sex appeal. All those sleek lines, smooth surfaces, and my fingers just glide across the keys...hmmm. I even found myself humming that pop song "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" and changing the words to "Don't you wish your laptop was hot like Macbook...don't cha, yeh, yeh, don't cha!"

R.I.P Ziggy 10.02.07

Our ferret Ziggy lost his battle with adrenal gland disease last night and as much as I felt I had prepared myself for this event, I now know I could never have been ready for it and that there really is no way to prepare for the death of a loved one - animal or human.

We have owned Ziggy for about 6.5 yrs and I always referred to him as my 'special needs ferret' because he was a little odd. I really thought that some of his neurons weren't properly connecting as he would behave in the most bizarre fashion. One minute he would be standing still and then he would just bounce around as if he was dancing to a different beat, one unheard by our own ears. I also gave him the nickname 'Shark Eyes' because he never really looked like he was looking at you, but was looking through you, just like sharks eyes. But we loved him and he was the sweetest little man.

I am a new dog owner but have learned that different breeds will have different health issues to contend with, and this is the same with ferrets who have cancer as their health issue of choice. Actually, I am sure if they had a say in the matter that would quickly change. In the past 2 yrs we have lost 3 of our babies to various forms of cancer and it is horrible to watch as this disease ravages their bodies, but as a pet owner I also understand that life and death go hand in hand, and you cannot enjoy one without the other. Death is truly inevitable.

So that being said, we have enjoyed 6.5 yrs with our little Ziggy and I know he has had a wonderful life, and last night was our time to say goodbye. As a person who has experienced a great deal of loss it is unsettling to watch as the life disappears from my pet's eyes when they are euthanized, but even more strange is that I saw this loss of life in Ziggy's eyes last night after I arrived home from work and Joel mentioned seeing it the night before. It is almost like a veil covers their little eyes, as if their bodies have already begun to shut down. That is just my theory and I really don't want to go through this again any time soon to test it.

We drove Ziggy to a 24 hr veterinary clinic at 7.30pm and he left us not long after that. My only regret - apart from having to say goodbye - was that we couldn't take him to our own special vet, Dr Shini in Maple Leaf, who has been giving Ziggy his monthly luprone injections and is the most caring and wonderful vet I have ever met. But I guess we cannot always know when the end is going to come.

I wish you farewell my sweet Ziggy. 

RIP 10/02/07

 

Your love element is?

Your Love Element Is Fire

In love, you are a true listener and totally present. For you, love is all about feeling more alive than you've ever felt. You attract others with your joy and passion. Your flirting style is defined by your strong ability to communicate. Fun and play are the cornerstones of your love life. And while your flame may burn too brightly, it's part of your appeal. You connect best with: Wood Avoid: Water You and another Fire element: will likely burn out quickly

What Element Is Your Love?