I don't know about wandering hands but I do recall the saying 'wandering hands do the devils work'? No, wait, that's not right? Isn't the saying 'idle hands do the devils work'? I can never recall quotes properly. Damn memory issues. On Friday I had both idle and wandering hands to deal with?
It was just after 1pm and I was sitting down to a casual lunch before taking Zack to the vet to be cremated, when I noticed a man walking up the street in a most suspicious manner. Yes, I know what you must be thinking? "Can't a person even walk down the street without grabbing my attention?"
Well, this person wouldn't have grabbed my attention if he was walking down the street in a normal fashion, rather than walking this way then changing direction, and walking that way. I looked again because his behaviour seemed quite odd, and that is when I realized that his walking wasn't odd in an off itself, but add to that the fact that he was masturbating while he was walking seemed to explain everything!
He kept wandering up the street so I assumed he was going to walk away and I wouldn't have enough time to call the police to haul him away. But I guess he had a change of heart, as he turned around and stood on the path opposite my house. At first he was staring at the house opposite me but then he turned around and just kept doing the deed and staring at my home. It appeared that he was actually trying to get someones attention. It was obvious that this perverted act would mean more to him if he knew he was freaking someone out. Namely me!
By now I was in action mode and rather than let him see that I was calling the police, I crawled across the floor to reach the phone and I proceeded to call 911. Well, to be quite honest, it probably looked more like me flying across the floor. Yes, I do understand that the visual images that are coming to mind must be causing quite a frenzy of laughter throughout the blog world. I admit it does seem quite comical in some ways, but I certainly wasn't laughing at the time.
I gave the 911 dispatcher the information and she put me through to a patrol car so I could repeat the description of the offender (such an appropriate title, as he sure did offend me). I turned my head for a minute and he must have spotted me on the phone - he was GONE! Not even 10 minutes went by when there was a knock at the door. No, it wasn't the pervert - thank God - but a police officer calling to take my statement. He had already drove around a few blocks to see if he could spot the offender, but he was no where to be found.
Stay turned next Friday and we'll see if there is anymore action coming my way?
It's 'The Devil makes work for idle hands', just in case you're interested.
Posted by: Brendan | September 22, 2005 at 06:40 AM
What a jerk-off!
Posted by: nobs | September 20, 2005 at 04:57 PM