If it's not a pit bull, it'll be a cocker spaniel
December 5, 2005 NEIL STEINBERG SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST
Opening shot
After a safety study found that most railway accidents involve the last car of the train, railroads started getting rid of the caboose.
An old joke. But a form of illogic still too often used. Eliminate the thing that seems to cause the problem. Consider the severe, burdensome restrictions -- basically a ban -- proposed in the City Council against pit bulls. Pit bulls often maul people because pit bulls are a popular, powerful dog that people train to be aggressive. Should they be banned, certain Chicagoans won't stop wanting mean dogs -- they will only shift to another breed that is also powerful and can be trained the same way. Lose the caboose, and the next car in line becomes the last car on the train. Rottweilers will be next, then bull terriers. Soon only pugs will be legal.
Pit bull maulings are in the news for the same reason that postal workers seem to go crazy and shoot up their offices so frequently. Not because there is anything inherently wrong with postal workers or because they go berserk more than those in other professions. But because there are so many of them and whenever a letter sorter snaps we think: There goes another one.
Look at it this way: You saw the story late last week about the woman who had a face transplant in France. Did you notice what happened to her old face? Chewed off by a dog. Did you notice what breed of dog maimed her? Probably not, because it wasn't a pit bull. It was a Labrador. Gentle, playful, good with kids. I rest my case.
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